I swear...I feel like im the only one who see's it...SHit..WHy me? Mom dies, Then grandma, living with other people, dads sesuirs...people...life...GOD...life is fucked up...why me? can someone tell me why i have to go thru hell and back?...

My Grandma died..Yes i might of hated her at [points of time but shes dead..Gone Baaaboom dead..She had been very sick..And i watched her get sicker..But the funny part is..I knew she was gunna die..I coud seee it everytime i looked at her..And yesterday (january6th2005)..I was staring at her, just staring..While she was talking to me..It was the saddest thing in the world..I was watching someone die..My grandma..She was to weak to walk so we had to get her walker..I helped her over to the couch..She needed her meds..I gave em to her..She had dieabeetes..I pricked her finger..It was 255..(sugar level)..She went to the potty..She walked to the back room..She couldnt geton the bed..I had to help her..She was laying crocked so i pulled and shoved her..She said she didnt wanna fall..She was hullusanating..I walked outta the room..She called me back..So i turned on the bed..I walked out, and closed the door..Its now 6:53...I get on the phone..2 hours..He told me to go check on her..He TOLD me too..I could of saved her life..But no..I didnt..Got off the phone 9:00..Lady(dog) started to bark..She was dead then..But i didnt know...I went to bed..2 hours later..Grandmas dead shes not wakeing up..wuts wrong with her? i start hearing..Grandmas not here anymore..I got my dad..HE to started to cry.. I couldnt cry..no i dont know why...I loved my grandma...I did..I really did..Everyone was coming over at 12 o' clock at night..Hugs..Kisses..And stuff..I finally cried after i called ashlinn..My best friend...Shes been with me thru hell and back..She was balling..I got asked some questions by the cops..Cuz i put her to bed..Everyone left..The body of grandma..Still in the bak...Lady went back there...Grandma was still there.but not there..THey took the body at 2:2am...


I could of saved my grandma..I could of..I Saw it comeng..WELL..i gota go now..

Sheesh, I hate X-mas. ITs pointless to me..Very pointless. Well, Lets see allz i got wush blink 182 dude ranch, 3/4 shirts, pjs,sweats, some perfume,SOCKS, and lets see 20 bucks. Oh yeah and some converse. Hehe,better then nuttin eh?..I GOT ARTS CELL NUMBER!..lol ha. sorry i just had to say that D...Well i hope you all "enjoyed" ur holidays for the month of december:D...LoVe YaLl.

I am an oscar meyer weeeeenier this is wut i trully want to be...and if i were an oscar meyer weeeenier...everyboady everybody wud be in love with me!...hrum...its really windy today!...lol...lalalalala and im so tired...jake got 4rth place at hish lil chess thingy...and err...i went to go see blade trinity wiff septa stephen and err eli...and it was awesome..well..hmm...i bet the poewer is gunna go off..well peash!

Hmm....Nothing really has been happening...But i found out that muh bro smokes.....I hate muh bvrother...lol..well...I LOVE YOU SHOMY! write meh back! peesh